Not too many things give me writer’s block. Looking at a month between “musings” really scares me though.
In the past 7 years I’ve done my best to turn my personal lessons into ways to give encouragement to others who may be going through similar things. No point in feeling sorry for myself or whining about my pain. Who does that help? Nobody. Not me. Not you.
I learned from my dad that there is no point in doing something unless you are going to do your utmost to make it the best it can be. That means you take criticism and utilize it to make your work better. My dad had no ego. He was the most easy-going person I have ever met, unless he was being coerced to “put his foot down” about something. Without being pushed and prodded, he was an extremely understanding and gentle soul.
He was a starving artist that knew he couldn’t starve his children along with him, so he adapted and conformed to feed his family. His forte was faces, but he traded that for designing signs in order to put food on the table and clothes on our backs. He never lost his sense of wonder, hope and belief in the impossible being possible, though he died with his dreams still in the queue.
I guess my mission in life became solidified on the day of his passing. Or maybe it actually happened weeks before this, when I learned he was being hustled into an unfortunate and ill-conceived plan, formed from ignorance and selfishness. It is so difficult to forgive those responsible. I guess my dad was responsible too, in a way. It is up to me to let this all go. People make decisions, and for better or worse, those who LOVE them must live with those decisions and the resulting consequences.
Since my dad’s death I’ve bounced around – sinking my hopes into those I’ve called friends. Some have been amazingly comforting. Some have been shockingly disappointing, but hey, we’re all people learning to love. I can’t expect the moon.
My heart is heavy tonight.
I got too close and expected too much.
Thank Goddess, I can just go back and lean on my dad. You see, spirit is real. Love is spirit. Love (like those whom you belong to for infinity) can never die.
Remember that when it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under you. Remember that when you feel you can’t trust any living soul.
Spirit won’t abandon you. Your guardians and spirit guides, when you need them, come in even stronger and take on a positively poignant urgency to match your desperation when you need them more than air.
I hate saying goodbye. It’s that door closing and window opening scenario. Sometimes our greatest gifts come along with our greatest losses.
In spirit nothing is lost.
I would never push anyone else any harder than I push myself. Maybe that’s not fair. I’m tough on my own work because I demand excellence of myself. When my work is discovered I do not want it to disappoint. I just keep learning. And I am forever grateful.
Do what you love. Do your best. Learn from those you respect. Never accept LESS than your best from yourself. If that makes you unpopular and lonely – I believe this is better than being compromising and mediocre.
The only one you truly need to please is you. So don’t you settle. It isn’t easy to be the best you can be, but it IS worth it. You can look in the mirror and know that you’ve done all that you could…know that you are improving and LEARNING every day…know that you are giving your best. That has to be worth something. I know it is.
Thank you Dad. We are forever. I love you.