Sean Spicer Tried Too Hard

I’ve been asking myself why I feel that I might actually miss the truth-evading, gum-swallowing former press secretary. I’m sure it is in part due to the fact that Scaramucci is just no Spicey. While Ms. Huckabee-Sanders does have that lying-while-frowning thing down pretty well, she still leaves something to be desired. Sean Spicer has been doing Trump’s bidding for over 6 year-months now *sigh.* I think Trump months are similar to dog years.

Maybe it’s just that I will miss Melissa McCarthy’s comforting SNL impressions of Sean, but I think it’s something more. There is a forgivable quality to someone who thinks they are saying the wrong things for the right reasons. I got the overall impression from Mr. Spicer that he lied hard because he thought the end would justify the means. Maybe he’ll rethink that now.

Enter The “I LOVE You, Mr. President” Guy

Watching Anthony Scaramucci (newly appointed communications director) glide up to the press secretary pulpit was surprisingly disappointing. I didn’t think I would care. Liars are liars, right? It shouldn’t matter that much, but when the new guy started gushing “I love you’s” to Trump I felt that I’d entered a new lower level of the bottomless pit that this administration has become. I almost pictured Mr. Scaramucci wearing a sequin gown and a blonde wig. Maybe he would start to blow kisses to his beloved president. Could he please at least wait until Trump’s next birthday? All of the sycophantic silliness made me almost physically ill. Me thinks he doth profess his undying adoration TOO MUCH. Pay attention White House staff – this may be what it takes to keep your jobs. Trump, the man Sean Spicer used to work for

As I remember it, Sean Spicer had this no-nonsense way of lying, you know? I mean, he didn’t throw cherries, ice-cream and bowls of sugar on top of it all. Some call Scaramucci smooth. I could puke from all that smoothness. Sanders is the one who is still going to be doing most of the speaking, I hope. Right? It’s not that I really want that. (I just realized that her last name is the same as Bernie’s. That’s weird). Yet in a White House gone mad, she’s a little easier to stomach that the new guy who’s shamelessly flirting with his intended audience of one. The new guy seems to be trying to appease Trump’s annealed glass ego with over-the-moon praise while simultaneously charming the rest of us. Here’s a problem with that – it’s really obvious that he’s constantly aware of his own contrived smoothness. That cancels out the smooth for me.

Smooth, Not Spicey

Spicey was anything but smooth, and that’s what I’m going to miss. I often wondered how he could lie so boldly. He must have known they were all lies as he hurled them at us. The fun of it was that he was genuinely angry. It made him kind of hilarious when it came to the meaningless lies, like inauguration day crowd size.

Emperor or God – Sean Spicer Finally Said Enough

In my fantasy that’s coming true book, Nina’s Story, the magician villain keeps announcing his greatness, much like Trump, and scaring the villagers into elevating his title more and more as they become more deeply hypnotized by his brand of deception. He climbs from magician to sorcerer to Emperor. Trump never wanted to be President, not just President. He wanted to be dictator, but that’s not really broad enough for him either, is it? He fancies himself as Emperor. EOTUS. And yet, watching the new communications director practicing his chosen form of worship, I think Trump is aiming for even more than Oscuridad the wanna-be emperor was after.

I was glad that Sean Spicer decided to get out, rather than bow down even lower to the Trump-god that Scaramucci seems to so enjoy worshiping. GOTUS! How long until the dollar bill is changed to reflect Trump’s chosen brand? Maybe Ann Coulter’s book title was prophetic. I really don’t think he’ll rest until everyone is worshiping him.

Well, at least he hasn’t got Spicey anymore. Sean said that he thought there would be “too many cooks in the kitchen” if he stayed. Too many cooks all kissing the same butt. It’s definitely too much. So I press onward through this bizarre time in American and world history. Like everything else in life, there must be something we can learn from this.

Smooth is a good quality in peanut butter.